If I were my own best friend I would try to be genuinely helpful to myself.
I would give myself advice but try not to be a nag.
I would get me out of the house when I was in a funk.
I would urge myself to get professional help when we reached the limits of our friendship.
I would explain to myself that me did not mean what he said.
I would stay and keep me company and send someone else for help.
I would proofread for me since I can’t do it for myself. That includes double checking schedules and calendars, which are confusing charts full of imaginary plurals like "days" as if there is ever more than one.
I would remind me of good ideas I had already thought of but not acted on.
I would have a theoretical discussion with myself about the limits of friendship. I would steer the conversation away from my ideas about group selection versus kin selection in evolution.
I would applaud my better piano solos.
I would ask myself hard questions without expecting an answer.
I would be more patient with myself than I am with me.
I would just sit and be quiet with me when talking would not help.
I would fight fair with myself, and not beat myself up for losing.
I would probably take myself for granted.
